


Returning Nightmares

by Currently_Obsessed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Alpha Mikasa Ackerman, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Armin Arlert, Canon Universe, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, Kenny Ackerman Being an Asshole, M/M, Nightmares, Omega Eren Yeager, Overprotective Mikasa Ackerman, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-03-11 22:58:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13534305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Currently_Obsessed/pseuds/Currently_Obsessed
Summary: Based on the prompt: Takes place after the formation of Squad Levi 2.0. Levi has once again started struggling with flashbacks to his time in the underground (one of which includes a sexual assault). He falls back into self-harm as a result, but finds support in his new-found love, Eren. (bonus points if Eren and Levi have been pining after each other for a long time, and even more bonus points if Eren is also suffering from self-harm).Levi finds himself having recurring nightmares of his past. From everything from his mother death to his uncles horrible "Survival Training" to the deaths of the two people he had considered his family. They leave him sleepless and anxious. It's only when he puts the blade to his own wrists once again that he realizes that this is far more serious than he originally thought.He can no longer lead like he had. But will a teal eyed boy who has issues of his own be able to save him from himself while still trying to save Humanity on top of it all?(You can read now.)





	1. Sleepless Nights

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [ConstantCacoethes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantCacoethes/pseuds/ConstantCacoethes) in the [FYEF_2018](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FYEF_2018) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
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> 
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> 
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> 
> Takes place after the formation of Squad Levi 2.0. Levi has once again started struggling with flashbacks to his time in the underground (one of which includes a sexual assault). He falls back into self-harm as a result, but finds support in his new-found love, Eren. (bonus points if Eren and Levi have been pining after each other for a long time, and even more bonus points if Eren is also suffering from self-harm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in the middle of writing this... and I added a/b/o dynamics. >.>

I groaned into my pillow as sweat covered my brow. This was the third nightmare this week. Erwin would have my ass if I couldn't perform like I am supposed to tomorrow. Between the meeting with Nile from the Military Police and all that damn paperwork that I have been putting off to focus on training the shits that I have chosen for my new squad, I have been running myself ragged. I looked like shit when I finally was able to look at myself in the mirror.

I flipped onto my back and looked at the ceiling. I wiped away the disgusting sweat that was cooling rapidly on my flesh. The air was cool in my room from the changing of the seasons. Soon it would be winter and we would be fighting not only the Titans, but the elements as well. 

I always hated sending my men out there with the risk of getting frostbite on top of getting eaten from those damn monsters.

I sighed as I fluffed my pillow so that I could at least attempt to get more sleep before sun rise. 

But as soon as the inkling of sleep entered my psyche, the nightmares restarted right back up again.

The haunting voice of my uncle as he taught me to kill filled my mind. The way his dirty paws felt as it touched my skin was also vivid as I slept. He always taunted me whenever I messed up. He taunted my mother for selling her body to men night after night just to keep me fed.

His family. His own flesh and blood.

The way he spoke my birth given name made me shiver in my own skin. It's why I changed it when I ran. So I could hold a piece of me to myself and no one else could taint it further with their dirty mouths. 

Not even Erwin knows my real name. Not Isabel, not Farlan. No one.

_"Is this what I get as a nephew? Some dirty bastard of fucking omega prostitute? Pathetic. Get the fuck up and show me again, or do you want to get yourself killed?" Kenny sneered as he picked up the discarded knife. He shoved it at me and got back into a fighting stance._

_I coughed as I tried to gather the breath that was knocked out of me several times in the last hour. I was covered in blood, sweat and tears. But I had already stopped crying. He hated crying._

_I would always get hit if I cried._

_I tightened my grip on the hilt and tried to focus on my uncle before me, but there were two of him and they swirled around each other. I was too dizzy from getting hit in the head to focus on only one of him. I felt as if i was going to retch up the tiny amount of food that my uncle me only an hour and a half ago._

_My scalp burned from where his fingers pulled my hair time and time again._

_He rushed me and nearly a split second too late, I dodged his hulking body. I rolled my body away from his but it was a mistake. I groaned as the acidic taste of my previous meal filled my mouth. I tried to hold it down, but it burned too much._

_I couldn't stop it as I vomited over the dirt. It stunk to high heaven and it made me a want to vomit again. I continued to dry heave as Kenny's eyes burned holes into the back of my head._

_"Ungrateful pest!" He growled, his heavy alpha scent was gagging as it overwhelmed me. He kicked my unprotected stomach and I few about a half meter away from where I brought my lunch back up._

_"You should have just died with that ugly bitch. She was useless. Replaceable. And you are just like her, shitty brat! You don't deserve to eat if you just heave it back up!" He kicked me again as I laid on the ground trying not to make a sound._

_"I should just kill you myself."_

* * *

I woke up as the sun filtered into my room. I groaned. 

Another sleepless night. But I needed to get started. I had a small kitchenette in my room so I got the stove going to make some tea. 

That always seems to make things better. The quicker I got my day started the sooner it will end. I grabbed the key to Erens cell and put into the pocket of my uniform before finish dressing for the day. 

The high pit shed whistle of my tea kettle pulled me out of my small daze and I blew out the fire. I poured some of the boiling water over my tea leaves I had in a tea cup to let it steep for a bit before I could drink it. I grabbed a single sugar cube from the bottom shelf of my cabinet for when it was finished. 

Once the tea was ready, I grabbed the lip of my cup with all my fingers and lifted it to my own lips. I blew on the steaming, golden liquid before taking a tentative sip. The rich flavors of the tea filled my mouth and I nodded in approval. With tea in hand and all my harness straps tightened perfectly, I headed to Erwin's office.

Even though he couldn't go on expeditions now didn't mean that he was no longer the commander of the Scout Regiment.

In the back of my mind, I feel the constant nagging of my latest nightmare of my shitty, abusive excuse for an uncle, but I ignored it as I stepped into Commander Eyebrows office. Nowadays, he has to learn to write with his remaining hand. And based in the concentration written between the two bushy dark blond brows, i say that its still a slow process for him.

His stubble that has only been growing thicker with each passing day is slightly disheveled as well as his usually pristine hair. It's no longer the neat comb over with the stubbly undercut.

I have offered many times if he'd like me to take care of it for him, but he still refuses. I might have to ask that blond string bean that Eren hangs out with to help Eyebrows. I placed me tea cup down on his desk. 

"Commander," I greeted with a salute. He looked up; his normally vibrant blue eyes currently dull from staying at HQ while everyone fought titans without him. He was slowly withering into himself.

"Levi." Even his voice has lost what wad once there. It was like it was taken from him with the loss of his arm. 

"I was just checking on you before I unlocked Eren for the day. You know how me gets when he's locked up for to long," I said, losing the formality. He nodded. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. "And I wanted to tell you that you need to stop this path of self distructution. I'm sending Arlert in to help you dress for the day. I can smell you from here. It's disgusting." His alpha scent was bitter with 

He nodded. "Thank you Levi. Send him in as soon as you can, thank you," he said dismissively. I nodded and grabbed my cup yet again and left.

* * *

After sending the blond Beta to Eyebrows, I started to make my way down to the dungeons to unlock Eren. But I was stopped by Jean. He was a young alpha that used to fight a lot with Eren. They have both stopped a lot since we have saved him from Bertholdt and Reiner. It's one reason why I chose him for a member for my new squad.

"Do you have a problem, Kerstine?" I asked, keeping my scent neutral. He swallowed.

"You can't go down there, sir. Squad Leader Hanji said no alpha is allowed. She entrusted me to deliver the message to you," he said saluting.

"Why?" I demanded. He flushed deeply and dropped the salute to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. I swear to fuck this young alpha is too childish.

"Spit it out, Kirstine!" I snapped. He flinched, knowing that I'm the stronger alpha. 

"Eren is in heat."


	2. Silently Falling To Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEM! 
> 
> Okay now that I have that out of the way, I am not going to be following the manga. So Ymir is still alive and I am going to have her in the Survey Corps still. There is no Curse of Ymir, but I will be mentioning parts of Ymir Fritz and the titans that came from her. I'm unsure what to do with Bertholdt and Reiner as of now, but I'll think of something for them. 
> 
> That is all for now.

I stared at the young two-toned alpha with confusion. Eren? In heat?

"Eren's an Omega?" I asked. Weary, Jean nodded. He audibly swallowed as his blush deepened in shade.

"Yes, Sir. Hanji said that he just presented, claiming that he must have been a late bloomer for one of several reasons. One, with his titan abilities, his body focused more on that than his dynamic. Two, since Omega's usually present in an environment they feel safe in since he was in the military, he didn't feel safe so his body suppressed it. Or three, he is naturally a late bloomer."

I nodded as I took all of this information in. The damn brat. If the Military Police find out that we have an omega in the Scouts, they would revoke our custody of him faster than we can even spin our heads. It was bullshit, but that was the cruel world we lived in.

"Alright then, get the new recruits ready then. Do not go easy on them. If they give you shit, send them my way. I have some paperwork that I need to get done so I won't be there until around noon, got it, Kirstein. Don't fuck it up. You and Springer are to make sure that these new shit heads are Scout material," I said before turning back and walking to my office. I ungracefully fell into my chair and ran a hand down my face.

I sighed deeply before my mind wandered back to the nightmare from the night before. I suppressed a shudder and forced my uncle from my mind. Kenny had no control over me. Not anymore. I was my own man. I fought to save humanity now. Not my own fucking skin.

I straightened in my chair and grabbed the first document that was on top of the rather large stack that seemed to be growing every time I looked at it. I skimmed through it to find that it was a simple request for more horses. Since the start of this whole situation with Eren, more and more of our horses seemed to be killed in the line of action. I saw that Erwins now messy signature was already on the page. I felt a pang of quilt fill me as I thought of my pack Alpha forcing himself to simple desk work. Hopefully, that blond beta has already helped him clean up for the day.

I quickly signed the documents and put it off to the side to be shipped off.

I worked in silence as I made a noticeable dent in the papers that needed to be sorted and signed. 

I got a gentle knock on the door about a quarter till noon.

"Come in!" I called out. A small blond head pokes in. It was Armin.

I sighed as he walked in. The neutral scent from the Beta filled my nostrils. I tried to keep my scent as calm as I could as to not overwhelm and overpower the "weaker" dynamic. Not that I personally believed that Beta's or Omegas were inherently weaker than Alpha's, but I did know that they tended to be warier of us because of out inherently strong scent. He came to stand in front of my desk and soluted to me.

"At ease, Arlert," I said, causing him to drop his arms to his sides. "Is the Commander finally cleaned up?" I asked, keeping my voice monotone. He nodded.

"Yes, sir. He showered, and I helped him shave and clean up whats left of his arm. I was worried that it would get gangrenous. But there is no infection that I could find as of yet, but we will need to keep it dry and clean." I nodded at this information. I have seen many soldiers that even though they returned from battle, they lost their lives due to infection because of missing limbs or cuts caused by the Titans that lie beyond our walls.

"Thank you, Armin. I also heard that Eren is in heat. I want you to make sure that he eats every day and gets clean. That includes fresh bedding and a sponge bath. I feel that if it is someone that he knows and trusts, he will allow you into his nesting area to help," I said. "Let Hanji know that this is a direct order from me. And she is not to experiment on him during his heat. Understood?" 

He saluted this time. "Yes, Sir!" And with that, I dismissed him and he left my office. I sighed and tried to go back to paperwork, but I couldn't stay in my office any longer. 

I stood and strapped into my 3DM gear and headed to the field.

* * *

Those shithead recruits were a bunch of idiotic blunderfucks. So many of the girls with long hair didn't have it tied up, causing one of them to have their hair get caught in the mechanism for the gear. Jean had to cut her out of it and get her new gear. 

I reamed her a new one. Does she even realize how expensive 3DM Gear is!? Or does she just not care? 

Connie escorted the 15-year-old fucker to the infirmary in case there was any damage to her scalp. After that, two other recruits couldn't follow orders when it came to the Gear training and ended up tangled together in the canopy, just hanging from their hook shots.

 


End file.
